Today I heard a girl say: "I saw that on the news yesterday!...and by the news, I mean Facebook"

Today I heard while waiting to start a test: Girl to class: "Good luck everybody!" Professor to girl: "You don't get invited to many parties do you?"

Today I heard someone say "I know what you mean, every time she talks to me I just feel like I need a shower afterward."

Today I heard a guy say to a group of girls "I called you fat like three hours ago, shut the fuck up about it!"

Today I heard a girl on the phone: "My roommate has H1N1, at least it's not swine..."

Today I heard "i was like 'please. i don't need to take a race and diversity class. i'm biracial. i AM race and diversity.'"

Today I heard: Girl 1: Did you take that plagarism test? Girl 2: Yeah, why? Girl 1: Can I copy it?

Today I heard one guy say to another on campus: "Hey dude, I didn't even recognize you! I've never seen you sober."

Today I heard a girl say "Do they honestly expect us to go to class when it rains?"

Today I heard: Guy 1 - I would totally suck dick for free tuition! Guy 2 - who wouldn't?

Today I heard while walking someone say "I wish Facebook was a major, then I could minor in Farmville."

Today I heard a guy talking to his mom say "DID YOU EAT MY FUCKIN' NUTS?!?!?!........ Oh, sorry mom, nevermind, I found it in my fanny pack.... love you, bye."

Today I heard: Student: excuse me miss, what does the sideways happy face mean? => Prof: thats not a happy face thats an arrow....